It was just another Tuesday for AJ Dezzani, work had been busy, but nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Now that it was nearing the end of the workday, he began packing up his things and went to the restroom to dump out his ice-cold stale coffee from earlier that morning into the sink. The brown liquid hit the round bowl in such a way that physics majors could have studied it for years and not understood, but the coffee vortexed up the sink and all flew back onto AJ’s tan pants, right on the crotch. He didn’t curse, didn’t make a sound, but immediately got some rock hard recycled paper towels and wet them, trying to stop the stain from setting in.

As he was patting the area dry, one of his coworkers kicked the bathroom door open as hard as he could, sending it into the trashcan and knocking it across the floor. “Uh ohhh, looks like Dezzani had an accident! No freaking way! Josh, Dave, get in here now!” the co worker yelled in delight.

“Haha, good one Mark, but no, just spilled my-” AJ began.

“No way, that's piss, or you shit so bad it leaked forward! I’ve got to get a photo of this… GUYS get in here!” Mark roared, reaching into his pocket for his phone.

Mark started taking photos, the volume all the way up on his phone so the shutter click sound was echoing through the restroom. “Mark, please don’t take pictures, you aren’t allowed to do that in here,” AJ said, demurred.

“Nobody but my father or an officer of the law is going to tell me what to do, Dezzani. Lift up your hand so I can see that stain better, I’ve got to email this to the whole office!”

AJ turned around, ignoring him. Just then, Josh and Dave ran in, already gawking and laughing before knowing what was going on. “My dudes! Check out Dezzani, he shit the front of his pants somehow! Go hold him down and turn him towards the camera, he’s being a party pooper… Get it!?” Mark belted, laughing hard at his own joke.

The coworkers stormed over to AJ, grabbed him by the arms, and flipped him around, exposing the stain to Mark’s camera. “Guys, stop it, this is inappropriate, let go of me now,” AJ said, his face starting to go red.

They just kept laughing and held him tighter, and AJ had enough. He slammed his foot down onto Josh’s shoe, scuffing it and hitting a ripe toe underneath. Josh toppled downward, grabbing his foot. “What the hell Dezzani, are you kidding me? We were just joking around, not cool man,” Mark said as he and Dave ran to Josh’s aid.

“I’m reporting this to HR, you’ve gone too far Dezzani,” Dave said in his squeaky voice.

AJ was flabbergasted, leaving the room in a mixture of embarrassment and anger. He grabbed his backpack and stormed out of the office. At least today is bowling day, he thought to himself. He wouldn’t have time to get a fresh pair of pants, but he didn’t care, nobody could see the stain during cosmic bowling.

On his way to the bowling alley, the “check engine” light lit up on his dashboard. He winced as his car started making thunking sounds, but he was only five minutes from the alley, so it would have to wait. Mechanics were closed now, anyways. Another car cut him off and abruptly came to a stop, leaving AJ no choice but to swerve into the emergency lane on the side. He saw a shattered green glass bottle, and winced once again as he heard the crunching under his tires.

He let out a deep breath when he realized his tires hadn’t popped, and AJ merged back into the lane in front of the car that cut him off, finally feeling a sense of pride after a long day. He couldn’t get his bluetooth to connect in his car, so the clunking of his engine was completely dominating his hearing. He tried turning on the radio, but it was either static or Korean car dealership commercials. He chose the car commercial over the sound of yet another expensive mechanic payout.

AJ turned into the alley’s parking lot, and as he made the sharp turn onto the ramp, he heard loud pops, and his dashboard lit up with “low tire pressure” symbols. The clunking was now matched by hard wobbles as the airless tires folded their way to a parking spot. His spotless sedan had become a 1920s Jalopy. AJ parked, embarrassed by the people looking at his car, and got his bowling bag out of the trunk, hoping that owning his own ball would at least make people think he was a professional. It was white leather with a red and yellow stripe, a very classic bag with his name engraved on a tag.

When AJ shut his trunk, his car alarm began blaring creating even more of a scene. Onlookers laughed at the man whose car sounded like the engine was scraping on the ground with four flat tires. He pounded on the unlock button on his key fob, but nothing was working. He tried opening the door, and the alarm stopped the second before he yanked on the handle. As soon as he pulled back on it, too late to react to the sound stopping, it began blaring again, and the crowd outside the bowling alley began clapping and howling.

AJ walked away from the car in shame, and sat on a table outside the entrance to the alley while he waited for his friends to arrive. A family was standing beside him, distracted as they were speaking to another family. They had a small puppy, a beautiful golden retriever with eyes like puddles of chocolate, sparkling in the sunlight. Its beautiful yellow ochre coat was so shiny, and it was wearing a tiny blue vest. It almost looked as if the puppy was smiling at him, and it walked over to AJ where he sat. It was the cutest thing he’d ever seen, tail wagging and tongue out as it excitedly pranced next to him, clearly wanting to be pet.

AJ bent down and started scratching the puppy behind the ears and on its neck, and it’s eye’s closed and hind leg started bouncing up and down in pleasure. This had to be the best part of AJ’s week, maybe even his month. He smiled at the dog and started scratching the top of its head. Suddenly, the dog was yanked away from him by the leash. “EXCUSE ME, please do not touch this dog. Can’t you read? He is a service dog in training, and he is not supposed to be touched. You should be ashamed,” the mother said chidingly.

AJ began to apologize, but the family waved him off and headed inside. Just before the doors closed, the puppy looked back at him longingly. AJ smiled. As soon as AJ looked back at the parking lot, he saw his friends walking up. “Sup AJ, ready to smash some pins!?”

Once they had paid and were at the lane, AJ unsheathed his gorgeous onyx black, 16 pound bowling ball. Today was the day he’d finally get his Turkey, three strikes in a row. It was dark in the alley, as the lights were only dim pastel colors and shimmering disco balls, the music roaring beside the crashing of pins. He noticed the family were stationed on the lane next to them, but put his head down and tried not to look over again. The puppy was peeping over the bench and looking at AJ, but he resisted looking back, not wanting any trouble with the family.

After a few rounds, AJ was on his last frame. He had gotten two strikes before, and this was finally his time to shine, a fine turkey after a long day of hardships. As he stood holding the ball in front of his chest, eyeing the pins at the end of the lane, he took a deep breath. He began his calculated journey to throw the ball, and pulled it back far behind him. Just before he let go, the puppy ran over excitedly to greet him, hopping on its hind legs. It was too late. The 16lb bowling ball crashed into its head with a shattering crunch.

AJ fell to his knees, shocked at what had happened. He heard his friends cheering after hearing the pins go flying, and realized that not only had he gotten a turkey, but it was too dark and loud for them to see or hear what had happened. He carefully glanced towards the family, and they were too busy fighting over who got to eat the last chicken wing to notice. So he slid the puppy on the slick wood floor back to the family’s side of the lane, finished his frame, and packed up.

He couldn’t drive his car home, so one of his buddies dropped him off at his house. He realized he had left his house key in the car, so he had to remove a screen and climb through a window. He broke the frame of the screen and shredded his already stained pants as he slid into his house. After making a quick bowl of mac and cheese, he sat down at his computer to watch videos as he ate. AJ noticed he had an email, and it was from the HR department at his work.

Hello AJ,

Please come to work two hours early tomorrow and come straight to my office. There has been a formal assault claim put in against you and we need to discuss how we will be proceeding with your employment.

-HR

AJ sighed, feeling a sick jolt of nervousness in his belly. He set down the mac and cheese, and called someone on the phone. “Hey, its AJ, can you talk? Sorry, I need to vent. It's been quite a rough day.”